I’ve seen more than a few clips on paranormal investigation shows involving ghosts apparently sitting in chairs, so I guess you can still get tired after you’re dead. This shit never ends.
Honestly rude to go all the way into a fish’s domain and then be like “oh no thank you I brought my air from home”
Stopped by a roadside farm where I saw a sign that said “DUCK, EGGS”.
I was contemplating the position of the comma when it hit me.
“it reduces down when you cook it” bold of u to assume i cook spinach when actually i just eat it by the handful at midnight when i realize i forgot to eat any vegetables that day
” i can change him ” ok rehabilitation center
i went to my first post-vaccinated family party yesterday and instantly i was nostalgic for 2020
I’m really happy because my pill bottle says, Do not iron while taking this medication.
I am *this* close to adopting a bunch of cats and opening a bed & breakfast called HairBnB.
Me: Do that thing I like.
Him: *gives me the good allergy pills*
My personal brand is finding a missing earring the day after I threw the other one out