
Nuns lead a very regimented and routine life. You might even say they’re creatures of habit.

Who called it Soylent Green and not Humanwich?

One day, I hope to give someone a small, very personal item and then gently close their fingers over it

Go ahead, try and use the word “panache” in a non-douchey way. You can’t.

Show up early for your interview. A day early. Lie motionless in a bush for twenty four hours. You got this.

Job requirements these days be like:
Looking to hire a caterpillar. Must have ten years experience as a butterfly.

I don’t know what happened but the entire pan of brownies is gone and I only had 4,500 slivers.

So, apparently, “My old girlfriend liked it!” isn’t a good defense when your significant other doesn’t like the Taco Bell gift certificate you got her for Valentine’s.

There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, and one Superman.
So, in answer to your question – probably a bird.

Nz lockdown 1: I’m gonna make bread and be creative every day!
Nz lockdown 2: time to watch all the twilight movies
Nz lockdown 3: time to make my sims family kill eachother and watch the twilight movies again