@realHamOnWry

Nuns lead a very regimented and routine life. You might even say they’re creatures of habit.

@GreeGreeHoist

One day, I hope to give someone a small, very personal item and then gently close their fingers over it

@buddhatree

Go ahead, try and use the word “panache” in a non-douchey way. You can’t.

@OllyiConic

Show up early for your interview. A day early. Lie motionless in a bush for twenty four hours. You got this.

@karanbirtinna

Job requirements these days be like:
Looking to hire a caterpillar. Must have ten years experience as a butterfly.

@_wendyb07

I don’t know what happened but the entire pan of brownies is gone and I only had 4,500 slivers.

@AmishPornStar1

So, apparently, “My old girlfriend liked it!” isn’t a good defense when your significant other doesn’t like the Taco Bell gift certificate you got her for Valentine’s.

@Myboysmum

There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, and one Superman.

So, in answer to your question – probably a bird.

@meladoodle

Nz lockdown 1: I’m gonna make bread and be creative every day!
Nz lockdown 2: time to watch all the twilight movies
Nz lockdown 3: time to make my sims family kill eachother and watch the twilight movies again