funny guys are dangerous they make you laugh and laugh then boom they hit you with a shovel and throw you in a ditch
long distance relationships can work if the 4 of you all truly trust each other.
As per my last nervous breakdown
{during sex}
him: i’m sorry, did you just say “faster, papa smurf”
Who called it beef chow mein and not moodles?
“Church is like prison for me: they can’t keep me out.”
– Midnight, a church friend
that’s not arthritis. It’s early onset rigamortus.
When I was 11 I went to the mall and got a mullet. The MALL! A MULLET!
Then the next day I went again & had the back of it permed. PERMED!
Oh and also I got grounded, and my mom cried, and I may have ruined the Christmas card.
But I looked rad AF.
This is top tier marketing 😂🤣
Some cool things about NYC are that it’s the nation’s largest city, an international cultural and economic hub, and right now there are about 8 people left running it
Untrue. I’ve already gotten gastro at several Sydney pubs.
Popped in on my parents and caught them watching and somewhat enjoying Big Bang Theory. I’ve never felt more betrayed.