On Amazon looking for a cat water fountain and 😂😂😂


Guy at the Acme Corporation: Ah, some dog in Arizona wants to buy a rocket launcher. I’ll send him a really shitty one


Nobody in this meeting knows I have a McChicken in my pocket.


There is no App,
To Replace your Lap!

Read to your child.

#Mothersday #booklovers


nasa employee: oh hey jeff you’re back early

jeff bezos: moon’s unionized

nasa employee: what?

jeff bezos: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s unionized