When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress.
Male seahorses get pregnant.
In related news, scientists believe men who tell women what to with their bodies come back as seahorses.
Question: Why am I sitting here on the couch eating ice cream with a fork, watching Telemundo and wearing one sock?
Cop: You know your license’s expired?
Me: Didnt even know it was sick.
Cop: Step out of the car.
a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds
Try saying “good luck” without sounding sarcastic. Good luck.
Fun trick to play on your partner: “Don’t you remember what day this is?”
I just got booed off stage by a bunch of jerks that didn’t appreciate my humor.
That’s the last time I’ll do a eulogy.
The difference between men and women is that for men, “stabby” is not an emotion.
Just tell me which one is wrong! The user ID or the password???