Roses are red, I have a phone. No one texts me, forever alone.


Just found a hilarious message in a bottle on the beach. I decided it needed to be RT’d, so I threw it back in.


How long do you have to wait between naps?


Dear every guy that works out excessively, the sun is out! NOW is your moment! It was all worth it! Take that shirt off and walk around!!


My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know


The kids of today have no respect. They’re rude, lazy and swear to make themselves look big and coolnnNothing at all like us…


Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t like things as much as I do.