no dude, if i wash my hands BEFORE going to the bathroom then they won’t get my genitals dirty and i won’t have to wash my hands after. duh
If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn’t a balloon.
You said I could have my way with you. If you didn’t want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should’ve been more specific.
Come here and listen close and carefully, I’m going to slowly explain what condescending means? Go ahead and take notes if needed.
Remember that time when you didn’t call, & a giraffe round house kicked your neck, & you fell off a merry-go-round & died?nnSo sad. Really.
Roses are red, I have a phone. No one texts me, forever alone.
You have a smile that could light up a whole psych ward. <3
Just found a hilarious message in a bottle on the beach. I decided it needed to be RT’d, so I threw it back in.
I want minions for Christmas.
How long do you have to wait between naps?