Moms, teach your sons to mind their manners, cook a decent meal & look for inner beauty.nnDads, teach your daughters how to throw a punch.


Sometimes I like to lie on the kitchen floor and pretend I’m a crumb.


Life was simpler when photo albums were books containing pleasant family snaps and not digital online librarys of me puking in a shoe.


Report – Sharks have difficulty finding work 51 weeks every year.


I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times.


This no more tears shampoo sucks. I’ve been feeding it to my friends kid and he’s still crying. nnnnMust be doing something wrong.


Any girl who says she’s not the jealous type will change her tune when another girl phones you drunk at 3am.


Not trying to be racist or ignorant but…nnseriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.