They say “confidence” is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I’d have to say “not banging my friends” would be a very close 2nd


If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who’s dumber than me, I’d have $11 cause I work for a small company.


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I wouldn’t take a bullet for you but I’d definitely push someone in front of you to take it for you. Same thing.


My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.


The only thing we have to fear is fear itselfnnANDnnWhen a women asks if you notice anything different


Lets get freaky. I mean really Freaky. Like I can’t look you in the eye for two days kinda freaky.


I suck my stomach in when ever I weigh myself!nnIt doesn’t make me weigh less but at least I can see the numbers!


If eHarmony were honest, it would pair some people with a room full of cats.


Give the chick a break. Kristen Stewart TOTALLY looks sorry. Or happy. Or sad. Or constipated.