@BestWorstAdvice
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t comeback, tell everyone she has herpes.
@Fallun_Angel
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.
@cynicanoldicus
On the off chance I’m captured by cannibals, I’ve got a ‘Best if eaten by 1975’ tattoo on my neck.
@dogheadcoffee
You got acute appendicitis ..
No, YOU got a cute appendicitis *winks at doctor*
@imagine_vegas
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over….you can make them here, because I want some too
@funWindow
Prove im not a robot by typing the wierd letters? um PRove your not a robot! i can see u computer yoU are a robot and this is my website now
@shegotagronk
Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she’s in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now.
@shegotagronk
It’s so beautiful outside. I should probably do something…Like close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my computer screen.
@Blue_Crab
ADHD is ADD in high definition.
@ilovepie84
Interesting that the homeless population is down and now there is a big sale of unlabeled meat at the grocery store.