@97Vercetti
me after I accidentally killed myself with bleach fumes but at least my bathroom is squeaky clean
@97Vercetti
@highmay29
I got new batteries
~me flirting with myself
@ColeNoorda
(Dec. 31)
I’m going to eat healthier(Jan. 1)
Why does McDonald’s breakfast close so early?
@Ant_F3ltz
Why are the boxes of Apple products made better than their cords?…
@MasterOfFury
It’s finally mandatory for people to stay 6 feet away from me.
@_little_old_me
According to my email junk folder, I am a very successful Bitcoin trader.
@OhNoSheTwitnt
Ok… (slowly closes laptop and hurls it into the sea)
@BipolarBearDick
I think illegal drugs are just the government trying to teach the metric system on the sly.
@CauseWereGuys
Give this kid an A+
@stephaniemain2
😂😂
