me after I accidentally killed myself with bleach fumes but at least my bathroom is squeaky clean
I got new batteries
~me flirting with myself
I’m going to eat healthier
Why does McDonald’s breakfast close so early?
Why are the boxes of Apple products made better than their cords?…
It’s finally mandatory for people to stay 6 feet away from me.
According to my email junk folder, I am a very successful Bitcoin trader.
Ok… (slowly closes laptop and hurls it into the sea)
I think illegal drugs are just the government trying to teach the metric system on the sly.
Give this kid an A+