me after I accidentally killed myself with bleach fumes but at least my bathroom is squeaky clean


(Dec. 31)
I’m going to eat healthier

(Jan. 1)
Why does McDonald’s breakfast close so early?


Why are the boxes of Apple products made better than their cords?…


It’s finally mandatory for people to stay 6 feet away from me.


According to my email junk folder, I am a very successful Bitcoin trader.


I think illegal drugs are just the government trying to teach the metric system on the sly.