@KentWGraham

PARENTING TIP: Never, at any time or under any circumstance, say yes.

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@fujichia

– much ado about nothing
– 2 much 2 nothing
– much ado 3: toyko drift
– much nothing
– much 5
– much ado 6
– nothing 7

@CherBear162

I would never get a minivan because I can’t even think of 7 people I’d want to be stuck in a vehicle with.

@WilliamAder

It’s just a matter of time before they add the word “Syndrome” after my last name.

@twylaredsun

Opportunity knocks once, however temptation likes to lean on the door bell.

@mandysparklerxo

You’ll never say “wrong hole” more often than when you’re trying to help a toddler put on gloves.

@JanineEB4

My biggest regret to date is probably never telling Kary C, Kerri B, Cari R and Kerry L from 4th grade that their names were spelled wrong..

@Ivsy01

Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do.

Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this.

@itcudvbeenworse

The recipe blogs that have the “jump to recipe” button are the real winners

@ShootyDoody

Jigsaw: If you want to leave you’re gonna need to…

Me, psyched about missing work: Nah, I’m good here.