@fro_vo

PARTNER: i think we should see other people
ME: look if you want to break up fine but for the love of god don’t make me see other people

You Might Also Like

@FrazzleMyGimp

[family reunion]

Does this place have air conditioning because

[song ends, party becomes silent]

Grandma looks really hot

@MUMSIEesq

[Parent-Teacher Conference]

Teacher: ..if another kid is mean to her, she calmly walks away

Me: *flips table* WHICH KID IS MEAN TO HER?!?!

@AnniemuMary

The past two Fridays after school I have seen the same group of teens walking home with a store cake and I would like to know how I get in on this Friday cake club.

@ddsmidt

When someone tells you “you don’t even know the half of it,” like it or not you’re about to hear the whole of it.

@FaisalAdam_

Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be ‘Officer! That’s him over there’… It gave me my sprinter’s physique.

@eff_yeah_steph

I just flashed a goofy smile at the guy coming out of the bathroom at the coffee place because thought it was my husband. Then, to make it less awkward I said, “sorry you’re not my husband”.

@robots_feel

interviewer: how are you with excel

me: i hate it

interviewer: an experienced user then

@AmishPornStar1

Life Tip: If you’re ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery.