No one is more shocked that I brought my cat to a baseball game than my cat.
*Password must be hard to guess*
New Password: H0neyWhatDoYouWantForDinner?
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Me with megaphone: “COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.”
Man: “I’m fixing your roof tiles, remember?”
Me: “I FORGOT!”
A screensaver for my face when someone has been talking too long.
You can’t live on Cheetos and Oreos alone.
But God knows I’ve tried.
FREE $1,000,000,000 IDEA: a Tumblr-type platform for list-making called Schindlr
I’m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn’t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
The Samsung Galaxy is a cool phone if you don’t mind carrying around a 42″ screen.
Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” has never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
Now kids have it easy. When I was young, the hot singles in my area had to walk the streets yelling they wanted sex with me thru a megaphone
I signed up for a Yahoo email address and suddenly turned 85 years old.