@LoveNLunchmeat: Pay me and I'll tell you whether or not your kid is actually cute.
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@Skoogeth: [fight scene - me and a murderer kick a gun across the room and grapple for it] me: [reaching under couch] shit murderer: let me try i have longer arms me: you do not murderer: do too. stand up [we measure arm length] me: wow murderer: yeah i got like a 6’3” wingspan
@fro_vo: [restaurant] ME: this chicken fried steak is terrible WAITER: that’s probably because it was fried by a chicken
@houffy: Apparently Mr. Neeson's "particular set of skills" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped.
@Mostly_Cheese: i'm tired of the phrase "too bad" so from now on I'm saying "that's cactuses" and if you don't like it well that's cactuses