Why are there no owls here? I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE!
*pays $20 for deluxe car wash*
*hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*
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Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God’s plan. God must not like her very much.
In hell your dog dresses you in goofy outfits.
How much for the best friend?
Manager : Sir, we’ve been through this, our cashiers aren’t for sale.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
today i got to first base
it was a rebel base
i destroyed it
My wife is the most beautiful, intelligent person standing right behind me reading my Twitter feed.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and street signals are still only telling white people to cross
Gandalf: It is in men that we must place our hope
Elrond: Have you seen their tweets