@3sunzzz: People are posting pictures of their Christmas trees all decorated, and I'm over here like, "Does anyone know if we have a clean plate?!"
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@jaeIeon: I remember when I was a kid I could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips 2 candy bars 6 packs of starburst and a cold drink. nowadays they got cameras everywhere
@briangaar: Superpower: giving evildoers the hiccups, then on day 23, you throw them off a building but by that point they're just sobbing "thank you"
@AnitaHelmet: If men knew the effect their scent has on women, they'd shower more and fart less.
@HeyZeus666: If a baby like Justin Bieber is the face of teen angst and rebellion, then we've bubble wrapped our kids too tight.