People: cheer up, things could be worse

Anxiety: and here are some detailed scenarios how

You Might Also Like


Me: I need to go to the doctor. How much will that cost?
My insurance: If it’s a doctor that you seek to see, answer my here riddles three / Go to the wrong one and in debt you’ll be / But which one is right? You won’t hear from me


My neighbor has a couple of cameras on her house, every time I go past I wave at her through the camera, she told me the other day she gives me the finger.


Me: Okay… Time for bed.

Brain: Cool.




Brain: If you had a pterodactyl, would you name him Terry… or Perry??


grim reaper: hey man just checking in, how ar-

*camera pan to me trying to get toast out of a toaster with two forks*

grim reaper: ok yeah just come with me


Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews)
Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfri….
(Read More)


trainer: what’s your fitness goals?

me: to be able to run to the door for my pizza delivery without feeling like I’m dying.


Trick people into thinking you’re a doctor by turning off taps with your elbows


Quarantine day 6: Went to this restaurant called The Kitchen. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.