@mstluvstrinkets: People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman.
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@AsgardianRose: No animal is more conniving and deceptive than Guinea Pigs, whom are neither pigs or from Guinea.
@SamGrittner: "WHAT DO WE WANT?!" "SELF-CONFIDENCE!" "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*
@ShittyComedian: I snorted enough cocaine last night to kill a horse, but in my defense that horse came out of nowhere.
@AsYouNotWish: Wife: How many women have u slept with? Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.