@TheDailySchmuck: People have underestimated me my entire life, and they've been wrong on like two of those days.
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@AimeeHelene1: Me: What do you think about that? Him: *typing* *typing* *typing* *typing* *typing* *typing* 5 minutes later K
@TheHyyyype: philosophy professor: you must question everything [later] me: *grabs lamp and shakes it* what have you been doing all day, you piece of shit
@BeardSpice: "Do you have Coke" No, is Pepsi okay "Do you have updog" What's updog "Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay"
@SimplySnaccbar: Me: Would you like a sample? Boss: What are you doing? Me: Handing out free samples. Boss: No, you're supposed to take samples from people, not hand them out! Me: This is a weird Costco. Boss: This is a sperm bank and you're fired.