I appreciate people venturing into entrepreneurship but is it really necessary to call yourself CEO when your firm is total of 3 people?
People on Facebook Nowadays:
*Clicks pic while sipping coffee*
*Posts as DP with irrelevant caption: Every scar makes me who I am*
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oh nowwww everyone wanna know what introverts do for fun
Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable.
[inventing vampire weaknesses]
writer 1: *stoked* ok sunlight, they can only come out at night
writer 2: nice how about crucifixes?
writer 1: ooh yea and holy water!
writer 2: we’re crushing this
[5 hours later]
writer 1: uhh they have to be invited inside
writer 2: garlic
Wife: Are you drunk?
Me: I know this is a trick question so I’m going with no. Why?
W: Because you’re naked on the neighbors porch.
TIM: how are you?
ME: it’s Monday
ME: the sun is up
TIM: are u just listing facts?
ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family
Soundgarden: Black hole sun, won’t you come and wash away the rain
Neil deGrasse Tyson: Literally nothing about that is right
What doesn’t kill a grammar nazi makes me wronger.
All of my friends are getting married and loving their careers and then there’s me, luring wayward ships into the rocks with ethereal songs.
It’s so hot outside I tried to let my dog out and she got up, closed the door and sat back down on the couch