
“Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops.” – Game of Thrones
*people on Wheel of Fortune
“I enjoy skiing & doing crosswords”It’s never
“I like hamburgers & threesomes”
“Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops.” – Game of Thrones
OBI WAN KENOBI: These are not the droids you’re looking for
GUARD: [licks lips] I’m not looking for droids handsome
Is it “butt-naked” or “buck-naked?” I want this pool party invite to be perfect.
Remember in 90’s movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That’s what happens when I walk in a buffet.
Few people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts.
His name was Frank
If you’re into audio you’re an Audiophile.
If you love French culture you’re a Francophile.
This is why I can’t get involved with PETA.
BANK ROBBER: There’ll be no trouble as long as everyone is cool
ME *remembering I’m me* oh no
When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy’s face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad.