@crmotwo: People told me 10 carrots for an engagement was excessive but it's my $100,000 and my fiancé deserves as much produce from Whole Foods as she pleases.
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@erica_rosie: I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds. Then I got a Twitter account, and I'm over it.
@WilliamAder: To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't "like" themselves.
@TheDweck: SENATOR: “Would you agree that it’s bad for Facebook to steal users’ blood and use it to create a clone army?” ZUCK: “That’s an interesting question that I’ll have to discuss further with our team. Did you know I started this company in my dorm room?”
@ingmarbirdman: *bumps into cute girl while typing on calculator* oops! got a bit carried away inventorying my lizards *makes sure she sees the 99999999999*