how come nobody who hacks celebrities ever does anything funny with it? they just type the n word like that’s comedy gold. You just hacked the CEO of twitter, idiot, you could’ve said something like “I am pleased to announce we are merging with Facebook. More details to follow”
People who are genuinely surprised when politicians behave badly should be forced to wear helmets for their own protection.
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Have a nice weekend
YOU have a nice weekend
No YOU have a nice weekend
*gets in coworker’s face*
I WANT YOU TO HAVE A BETTER WEEKEND THAN ME
saying “eat the rich”
-makes people think you’re a cannibal
saying “ok boomer”
-hurtful to a generation that ruined the planet and economy
Other driver: YOU TURNED INTO ME!
Me: *looking at hands* like Freaky Friday?
Never Never Never tell someone you are patient.
They will test you…
that de-escalated quickly
Open your mind…
DEAR GOD CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE IT
Hey dude, there’s 10 empty urinals in here no need to stand right next to…
And now he’s talking to me!
Someone call 911!
Took away all my son’s electronic privileges, and now he’s so bored he’s given me 35 hugs.
May take them away tomorrow too.
Tom Cruise has never starred in a movie where his character description didn’t include the word “hotshot.”