People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides

You Might Also Like


Does the 5 second rule count for a baby? Asking for… Nevermind, her mom picked her up.


Walk in the club wearing my transition lenses like “What up who’s here gimme about 30 seconds and then we can get this party started ladies”


i cant feel my face when im with you /
please untie me /
nose is itchy


Dinosaur 911: what’s ur emer-


Dinosaur 911: same color as you?

Dinosaur: YES

Dinosaur 911: is it your own tail?

Dinosaur: ok, you’re gonna laugh


*Bee lands on flower covered in another flower’s pollen*

FLOWER: What’s that?

BEE: I can explain

F: I don’t want to hear your lies, Ian


Date: Why are you so nervous?

Me: I’ve never seen talking fruit before


Meanwhile on Facebook, Susan is doing a quiz, to find out what kind of sea monster, her Ex is.


I’m an okay dancer until I whip out the finger guns, then I’m just majestic.


Not all dogs go to heaven because I just saw two dogs having sex and dogs can’t get married. Hope you both enjoy hell.