@dreadnaught69: People who incessantly go on and on about replacing things that taste good with quinoa, please stop
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@RoosterMustache: ME: snakes are mean TEACHER: right ME: but it's not their fault. They have 2 ends & no legs TEACHER: ok ME: so the ends justify the mean
@envydatropic: When my friends come over they know to ask "may I sit here" and then we look at my dog to see if it's OK
@UncleDuke1969: "You called about a break-in?" "I did." "Anything stolen?" "Just some food." "Anything else?" "She messed up the furniture." "She?" "Blonde girl. Jumped out the window."