the united states is $22 trillion dollars in debt and they have the audacity to try and give ME a credit score? worry about yourself first babygirl
Pepsi and Coke can’t even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
You Might Also Like
DENTIST [nods at my son] He did so well, do you want a sticker for him?
ME: Yeah, sure
WIFE: Where’s Harry?
ME [smoothing sticker down on my shirt] the dentist offered a trade
I only shower to give my phone time to charge.
BREAKING NEWS: Scientists sneak up on Periodic Table, add element of Surprise
me: [in bed, hears a weird noise] wtf was that?!
dracula: [bursts out of my closet]
me: did you hear that too?!
dracula: yeah wtf was that?!
My son kicked his soccer ball in to a rosebush & now I look like I got between Chester Cheetah & Tony the Tiger at a coke party.
Welcome to HouseHunters. Brenda sells keychains on Etsy and Keith shoots birds at the airport.
They have a budget of $430,000…
The whole purpose of travel is to return home and discover what your house actually smells like.
Some people are legally blind. What happens to the illegally blind?
Can’t stop thinking about really disturbing things today, like what if they had called him Illinois Jones.