@DurtMcHurtt: Perms are just rad skateparks for lice.
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@CulturedRuffian: Hey waiters-I don't ever 'save room for dessert', I just stuff it in there and pray to God I don't have an accident.
@RuthePhoenix: Had a really nice moment this morning with the postman as we held hands through the letterbox. Only slightly ruined by his screaming.
@thisislizz: The D word that everyone's been feeling at work is depression. I guessed the wrong word, apparently. Aaaaand there's HR calling me. Brb.