Person: Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
Me: I understand.
*I spend the rest of my life biting the hands of everyone who hasn’t fed me*
person: can you keep a secret?
me: I’ll never share what you say but it will weigh on me and negatively affect my life
person: oh thank god
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All excellent questions
During the day I don’t believe in ghosts, But at night I’m a little bit more open minded
I hate to say “I told you so”, so Im going to sing it.
Odd numbers bother me. Except 75. 75 you’re ok.
why was 6 mad when 7 won her a stuffed elephant? because 7 1 1 4 9 2
When someone tells me to have a safe flight it’s like ok I will do my best but just so you know I am not the pilot of the airplane
Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness.
Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.
Practice for parenthood by approaching a pack of rabid wolves and saying “Time to brush teeth! Who wants to go first?” Do that twice a day.