Follow us on Instagram. That's it, don't make us say cringy things like YouTubers say at the end of their videos. Click here to follow us
@loudmouth_usa: person: what is your dog's name
me: he won't say
@bacon_gillepic: Person: you only live once
Me: that is the best news I've heard all day
@ValeeGrrl: Husband: *hacks up lung* I think I'm comin down with something
Me: lol ok whatever
Kid: *tiny cough*
Me: OMG MY POOR BABY COME TO MOMMA
@totallyinatiff: There is no cool way to chase after a ping pong ball.
@ClassADude: Wife: So what are you going to do in retirement?
Me: My dream is to have my own taco truck.
Wife: You want to run a business?
@pixelatedboat: BREAKING: Epstein autopsy reveals his teeth had become piano keys, consistent with death by piano drop