Perverts have made it so you can’t even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls’ college diving team meets anymore.

You Might Also Like


Isn’t that the name of the guy that played Sherlock Holmes?


“A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer .”


BOSS: Ok so far so good. But before we finish the interview I’m gonna have you take a typing test.

LOBSTER: *looking down at claws* Shit


“I’m still years behind on Breaking Bad so I expect the entire internet not to discuss it until it’s convenient for me.” – Idiots


Your search – Bruno Mars not wearing a stupid hat – did not match any documents. Did you mean: Bruno Mars wearing a stupid hat.


Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.


Dear BJ’s,

Either your employees are very rude…
Or, the name of your store is terribly misleading.

An ‘Unsatisfied’ Customer


The last time my heart beat this fast I was at my boyfriend’s parent’s house and the toilet water was rising…

-My best pickup line