@erica_rosie

PET LIZARD NAME IDEAS:

1. Elizardbeth

2. that’s it

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@FU_TangClan

[spelling bee]

Moderator: your word is sentence

Me: can you use it in a sentence?

Moderator: your word is sentence

@torii_somerss

bf took me to get undies n he wanted to embarrass me so he said real loud: “i can’t wait to rip these off with my teeth” n i replied with: “seriously u need to stop, ur my brother”

i won

@MrGeorgeWallace

Tried to back up today in a car without a rear facing camera. I killed seven pedestrians and three dogs.

@SocialustGal13

I don’t hate you. Hate is such a strong word. I just want to tickle your brain with this ice pick.

@coolauntV

boss:

me:

boss:

me: [slowly removing tiara i made out of binder clips]

@ImSoFrancis

Food just tastes better upside-down
1. upside-down cake
2. hamburgers
3. not cereal tho
4. oh no cereal is everywhere
5. why did I do this

@XOperfectmessXO

You’re like a dressing room

You make me want to take my clothes off and try things