@Holy_Mowgli: peter parker, bitten by radio-active spider: *donates $65 to NPR*
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@marknorm: 'God given talent' is a weird idea. God: "Hmmm, I'll give it to that kid and let the other millions work in data entry."
@Jen_says_nah: Texts friend: sorry, I'm running late. Friend: no problem, let me know when you're on your way. [ 6 weeks later] Ok I've left.
@joeldanger: My parents told me as a kid that R&B stood for ribbons and bows so when I heard Barry White in their bedroom I left them alone to do crafts.