When this was first painted, the wolves were much further in the background. I would sell it before they reach the frame
“You’re gonna die in 7 days”
[me, pantless in dark kitchen, lips to phone]
Can u make it 5
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me: sweet chainmail
knight: thanks tell six of your friends or I’ll kill you
Them: Who hurt you?
Me: *takes deep breath*
don’t you just hate it when a zombie breaks into your home and starts doing their ironing right in front of the TV
[Applebee’s Manager Application]
1. Are you a good people leader
2. Can you manage a P&L
3. Are you willing to fistfight the Chili’s Manager
I don’t know, sometimes I just feel invisible
Therapist: WHO SAID THAT?!?
ME: you wanna go outside?
DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof!
ME: ok just a second
DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof
I needed a laugh this morning.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making.
After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
[mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring]
Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need…
[cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling]