Picture someone you think is kinda/sorta attractive.

Now picture them holding a pizza box.

You Might Also Like


Me: I’m going bungee jumping
Mom: y?
Me: my friend John is
Mom: so if John jumped off of a bridge, would you?
Me: that’s what I just told u


Remember kids, don’t light your own fireworks. Have the adults who have been drinking all damn day do it.


My husband washed the dog with my expensive shampoo again. I sure hope that crate is big enough for both of them to sleep in tonight.


[forgetting the phrase ‘adopt a rescue’]
i’d like to purchase one used dog


I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops


I broke my arm when I was a kid, my Dad carried me ten miles to the hospital, he has cancer, so that’s why my tattoo is hot nurse.

-LA Ink.


Autocorrect changed “decaffeinated” to “defecated”, and despite what my wife may claim, I’m pretty sure she knew what I wanted a cup of.


Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn’t have a barbed wire tattoo.


My medical bracelet just says “Call 911” because people are idiots



Detective: I’d like to ask you some questions about a recent jewel heist.

Ring-tailed lemur: This is profiling.