Pizza shop said they loved unusual requests so I asked if they could find my dad.

You Might Also Like


Sometimes a walk down memory lane is more of a blind, panicked sprint complete with windmill arms.


Women shouldn’t work outside the home. It’s STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs.


I may be paranoid, but it feels like the world is out to get me.

*trips over globe and breaks both legs*


[presses every button in elevator] here’s how Michael Bay ruined the ninja turtles


BREAKING NEWS: Area Dad Wants You To Close The Damn Screen Door; He Isn’t Running A Hotel For Bees


Unfortunately….. Nobody wants to have sex with your inner beauty.


I want to work in a Morgue, because if no one comes to claim the bodies, hey, free bodies.


*opens door*

Stop screaming!

*opens door*

What broke?!

*opens door*

Just wait until I get out there!!

~parenting from the bathroom


If I ever met the Dalai Lama, I would ask him a question that has plagued me my entire life.

“What color do Smurfs turn if you choke them?”