@DaHess1: Pizza will never tell you you're fat unless you're high as shit, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
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@KevinHart4real: Good morning people.....I woke up feeling myself this morning....wait that doesn't sound right. What I meant is I woke up feeling confidant
@SortaBad: John: Yesterday... Paul: All my troubles seemed so far away George: But now it looks... Ringo: Waterslides hurt if they aren't wet enough
@knot_eye: *on the phone* Me: I'd like to order a 12" cheese steak. Him: Sure. That'll be $13.39. M: How long will it be? H: Uhh, a foot? M: ...