Pretty sure the NFL would expand their fan base if a player’s helmet changed colors like a mood ring
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns. It’s a play on words.
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Her: THAT IS NOT A FANCY WATER FOUNTAIN
Me: *pulling my head out of a bidet* what?
*accidentally digs 7 foot deep hole
I’ve made a grave mistake.
If your messages appear as “seen”, but there’s no reply, don’t worry. He probably fainted from all the excitement.
Not sure if I actually like movies or just like looking at something while I eat popcorn.
“Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees”
“Where you going with that broom handle?”
“Checkin for squirrels”
He-Man wasn’t gay. He was just uninterested in Teela and was very good friends with a man named Fisto.
I once went out with a girl that said she was flexible like a Slinky. Two flights of stairs later, I decided she wasn’t.
I bet Columbus was super pissed when he rolled up in the Santa María only to find Dora had already explored America.
(Auditioning to be a bird)
*accidentally walks into a sliding glass door*
DIRECTOR: Wow, she’s really good.