@CatherineLMK: Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death.
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@sarcasticmommy4: One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol.
@IamEveryDayPpl: I'll pick my dog's poop up with my bare hands and put it in my pocket to end any chit-chat other dog walkers try to have with me in the morning.
@aspiringtoucan: god: call them deer angel: ok. what do they look like god: eh pretty normal angel: ok god: [suddenly] put a tree on its face
@IamEveryDayPpl: My scariest campfire story is about the time I held a flashlight under my chin to tell one and everybody started counting my whiskers...