Me: Wow, do you feel tha-
Husband: *pushes me out of the way and runs down the street screaming* Every man for himself!
Please, person who just said “libary”, tell me more about what an avid reader you are.
You Might Also Like
What is the meaning of life?
S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E
*Squints at board*
What the heck?
A Bee Gee board?
I changed my name in my daughters phone to God….
I texted her and said
“I saw that”
You should of seen her face
This killed me
i always see couples holding hands but how do you become part of a couple? do you just leave your hand out and if someone holds it, you’re a couple
Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
My dentist has decorated his office with pictures of teeth he has worked on, thank god my gynecologist doesn’t have the same decorator.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they’d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
Just ended another email with, “Let me know if you have any questions,” like I have any idea what’s going on.
You know who DOES see something wrong with a little bump n’ grind?
Trevor in human resources.