So you’re all Obama fans now? Name 3 of his albums.
please stop saying things like “ur so hot” and “your jokes have both emotional depth and the refreshing originality of a self aware intellectual” and start saying things like “here is ten thousand dollars”
You Might Also Like
Me:*spends 4hrs comparing gift prices on several sites to save $4*
Also Me: *spends $33 on pizza because I shopped too long to cook $6 chicken*
10: Dad, what’s a cliffhanger?
Me: Well, son …
[to be continued]
It’s not enough to get up at 8 am & freeze on the soccer field. One must also scream from the sidelines so everyone knows you care.
I call my mother twice a week. Or as she refers to it, “Never.”
me being petty:
*gets late 3 hour late reply*
*waits for 50 seconds to reply back*
Vader: *waiting in Death Star hallway*
Vader: *tries a cool lean against the wall*
Vader: *fiddles with the lighting*
Vader: *tries a different cool lean*
Vader: *some real good kicks*
Obi-Wan: *enters hallway*
Vader: I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan.
Just when you think your heart’s completely broken, it breaks a lil more.
Her: Why’s the couch smell like pee?
[Flashback to me watching The Ring alone]
Me: *points at son* I think someone had another “accident.”
Cop: You look pretty beat up, how many attackers did you say there was?
[flashback to me showing the cat my nunchuk skills]
Me: Easily 10