Judge: *whispering* pls stop introducing yourself like this just because u work in my chambers it doesn’t m-
Me: YES HI IM HIS CHAMBERMAID
MARIJUANA is the drug against wars.
You Might Also Like
Cigarettes only give you cancer if you let them. It’s called science. Maybe you’d know more about it if you read as many Yahoo Answers as me
I wasn’t allowed to watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas” as a kid because of my Peanut allergy.
What idiot called it Airport Facilities Maintenance and not Hangar Management?
before x-rays doctors had to climb inside people and draw a picture of their bones. some still do
BOY: Bae, I know what will make you feel better
*opens casket to reveal PROM? spelled in carnations*
Me: What time are we leaving?
Wife: In 3 or 4 hours
Me: Ok, I’ll be waiting in the car
Falling in love on Twitter.
The problem with finding people who accept me for who I am is that I question their judgment