Pony: “I love hay so much I-”
Dad: “Why don’t you marry it, ya big nerd?”
*pony grows up*
*becomes Horse Emperor*
*legalizes hay marriage*

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Dance like you need to be shot with a tranquilizer dart.


Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.


No that’s not popcorn popping, it’s just the way my body sounds when I stand up.


Congratulations to our winner, Todd, who correctly guessed there were “hella jellybeans” in the jar.


ME: thanks for “showing me the ropes” lol

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If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.


‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, there was a grim recognition of the fundamental uselessness of man’s endeavors.