We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@Smug_Lemur: Possible Tic-Tac-Toe results:
a.) it's a tie
b.) you're an idiot
@ObscureGent: Make your day better by imagining people you don't like floating helplessly into the sun.
@Vodkantots: "We hug and kiss, but people just don't lick each other."
-yet another lie I just told my toddler
@ClichedOut: doctor: i have bad news
me: uh oh
doctor: u have scoobyditis
me: *whispers* ruh roh
@sarcasticmommy4: Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money.
@AndrewNadeau0: FRIEND: Don't come on strong.
DATE: Want to try some of my soup?
ME: The spoon is too heavy.