To the person who brought multi-grain chips to the party- you could have just said you didn’t want to come.
Nurse: Get the crash cart?!
Doctor: Give it a minute
You Might Also Like
cop: there he is! get him!
‘you’ll never catch me! i’m translucent-man!’
cop: we can still kinda see you
BARISTA: I have a latte ready for “Give me all your money?”
ROBBER: Oh goodness, this is so embarrassing, I see there’s been some confusion
CAT VAMPIRE: let me in!
CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl-
ME: *closes door*
CAT VAMPIRE: …
CAT VAMPIRE: let me out
ME: OMG I love quizzes. Next question!
COP: Where were you the night of murder?
Me with a pronounced limp: *walks awkwardly
Me with a mispronounced limp: “Blimp.”
Hair Dresser: You could get extensions to add length.
Me: You could stop cutting.
The biggest myth about travel is “packing light” – don’t bother! Light is available from the sun and artificial sources worldwide.
3: I’m going to say hi to that boy on the bike
Boy rides by & she waves shyly after he passes
3: He didn’t hear me
Me: Flirting’s hard
My 2yo said she is a grown up. I told her she isn’t, that she is a toddler. She replied, “No, I’m a grown up. I’m going to touch knives.”