@DothTheDoth: Practice self-care like werewolves: carry deeply emotional secrets everywhere you go & once a month eat the hearts of all who have wronged you.
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@utofellatio: Obama: we need to create a plan to reduce pollution Biden: *turns from watching captain planet* have you asked the planeteers for help?
@ruinedpicnic: "Sorry but It's me or the label maker." [takes GIRLFRIEND label off her shirt] "Thank y-" [sticks on a label that says EX-GIRLFRIEND]
@Dutch_50: Hey, I'm human. If you cut me do I not bleed? If you cut me a slice of pizza do I not eat?