@LanaAllende: Pretty disappointed that Shakespeare's Hamlet didn't turn out to be the story of a delicious tiny ham.
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@RidiculousSheri: It's getting Hot In Herre, so take off all your clothes! Also, drink this water because I don't want you to get dehydrated. -Nervous Nelly
@mc_funbags: People say that Twitter is pointless but it's teaching my children to be self sufficient.
@Tommytoughstuff: [first day as a police sketch artist] ME: I hope for your sake you were attacked by a stick figure.