Her: I’m running a little late.
M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time.
Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter
Pretty nervous about the guy who dropped out of mechanic school the second they showed us how to cut a brake line.
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My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida.
I call it “No air conditioning”.
This is your captain speaking. Those of you on the right side of the plane may have noticed 3 pyramids. This is 3 more than we were expecting to see in Barcelona. Anyway, does anyone have google maps?
Most googled search terms today
Before the eclipse: How to make my own cereal box viewer?
After: How to tell if my cornea is sunburned?
Me: Pull my finger.
ME: haha j/k that’s actually why I came in.
crush: i really like music
me: *gets jealous of music and rips off crushes ears*
You do a lot of yoga?
So you must be really…(winks) annoying
We can put a man on the moon but we can’t reference any other achievements?
In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends.