Maybe Gotye was an actual goat that sold it’s soul for the chance to be a human with a hit song and now he is back to just being a goat
[Prison Diary Day 5]
Did a perfect cartwheel today and nobody clapped. I hate it here
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*spends 45 minute drive trying to perfectly crack open my car window*
You gotta wet it first, doesn’t work dry. The wetter the better.
-whistling you perverts
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn’t mean to eat it. I don’t want to be a bug.
Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Gluten sensitivity does not exist in this dojo,does it? Put your hand down Aiyden
My Eight Year Old: Why do I have to learn cursive?
Me: Literally no reason at all.
As confused as an atheist who’s stuck behind a car that isn’t moving at a green light & has a bumper sticker that says ‘Honk if you love God
Robin: Gee Bruce, how come you get to wear dark concealing colors and I have to wear bright Red, Yellow and Green?
Batman: You’re the decoy