@callie_cakes

Pro Tip: Don’t EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don’t “get” X-Men.

Because. They. Will. Explain. It.

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@stuckinaportal

*walks in on son making batman & iron man action figures kiss*

wtf?

“dad i can explain”

u should never EVER mix the dc & marvel universes

@GrantTanaka

wife: don’t eat that, u know it won’t agree with u
me: yes it will
taco: no I won’t

@SSDated

I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what’s important. #Cake.

@LoveNLunchmeat

Be grateful for those who keep your secrets.

That way you don’t have to kill them & go to prison.

@3sunzzz

You can learn a lot when your children start moving out. For example, you may go upstairs and learn that you no longer own a couch.

@amazymay72x

You know what else is fun? Playing dead when your husband receives the credit card bill…

@Piecezilla

Welcome To Earth. You’re not supposed to rub your eyes when they itch even though nothing feels better than rubbing your eyes when they itch

@ThisLocalHater

My family crest just says, “Yo, can I crash on your couch for a while?”

@kelly__le

I’m not mature enough, in any way, to ever have a friend named Dick.

@Book_Krazy

[Gym]

Hello ladies, and welcome to Body By Jake!

Me: “Jake?” *i discreetly shove the cake I brought into my bag & back out of the room*